Emotions researchers generally define empathy as the ability to sense other people’s emotions, along with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling. In simple terms, empathy is the capacity or ability of someone to walk in another’s shoes. Empathy is different from sympathy where one is moved by thoughts and feelings of another, while maintaining an emotional distance. Empathy includes valuing other perspectives and people. Having empathy does not necessarily mean that we want to help someone who are in need, but rather to feel and understand what they are feeling.
There are three components of empathy in general : Cognitive, Emotional and Compassionate. Stronger relationship and trust could be built when children learn how to empathize with their friends or those around them. Having empathy also helps in developing children’s social skills.
Three components of empathy :
1. Cognitive
Cognitive empathy is where we know how others might be thinking and feeling. It could also be defined as perspective taking.
Imagining ourselves in others’ shoes let us know the feelings they might be feeling. However, having only cognitive empathy will not bring us closer to them. We need to share their feelings in order to truly connect to someone, which is the component of emotional empathy.
2. Emotional
Emotional empathy happens when we physically feel what the others are feeling, as though their emotions are contagious. Emotional empathy may extend to physical sensations, which explain the cringe we had when someone burns their arm. Each individual is different and experience different things. However, the emotions that arise from an almost similar situation we had are the same.
When we understood what others’ are feeling, we can put ourselves in a similar emotional space.
3. Compassionate
Compassionate empathy is when we are spontaneously moved to help a person when we have understood and feel his predicament. It is a balance between Cognitive and Emotional Empathy that enables us to think before acting, thus avoiding us from being overcome with feeling or jumping straight into a problem solving process.
Empathy needs to be taught as it does not happen naturally in many people, especially children. It is difficult for us to take a moment to connect with others in this fast pace society. Children who are overwhelmed with all sort of enrichment activities are too busy and occupied to think about others. However, it is important that children develop empathy. The more children practice empathy, the more intuitive and natural it becomes.
Having empathy means a child is :
able to recognise and name her own and others’ feelings
able to regulate own emotional responses
understand that other people may have different feelings than her own
able to put herself in someone’s shoes and imagine how they might feel
able to imagine what might help a person feel better
Empathy can be cultivated in children through :
1. Helping your child manage her feelings
Help your child identify and name her own feelings. Only when she is able to identify her own feelings that she can feel it in others.
2. Modelling empathy
Children learn by watching the actions of adults around them. When parents model empathy, children understand what it is like to feel and care for others and the what action should be taken when such circumstances arise.
3. Setting high ethical expectations
It is important for children to hear from their parents that caring for others is just as important as their own happiness. It is just as important to help children understand that the world does not revolve around them. Children need to understand that their concern for others should not take a back step just because they are in a bad mood or they do not feel like it.
4. Providing opportunities for children to practice empathy
Children need to be nurtured for their capacity for empathy to come through. Cultivating empathy needs practice and guidance. Having the chance to consider other peoples’ perspective and circumstances could help children practice their empathy’s muscle. With regular practice, it will not be long before children get better at tuning into other’s feelings and perspective.
5. Expanding children’s circles
Children regularly interact with people around their own circles such as parents, relatives, school friends, etc. While they will not have problem showing empathy to people within their own circles, it is equally important that we guide children in understanding that there are many kinds of people who are different from them. These people will not be from the same background, neighbourhood, or geographical location and may be facing challenges that are very different. Expanding
It’s also human nature to have empathy for people who are like us in some way. But the real issue is whether children (and adults) have empathy outside that circle. As parents and caretakers, it’s not only important that we model appreciation for many types of people. It’s important that we guide children in understanding and caring for many kinds of people who are different from them and who may be facing struggles that are very different. Expanding children’s circles help them in understanding different people and cultures.
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