Social anxiety, also known as social phobia is a type of disorder that causes a person to experience extreme fear in social settings. Identifying social anxiety in children helps in early intervention where they can be taught ways to cope with it.
Herewith are 5 ways we can help children with social anxiety.
1. Prepare for possible situation
Often, we fear the unknown because we do not know what to expect. Thus, it would be helpful for parents to tell and explain to children where they are going or what is going to happen. Give some time for the child to picture and get herself ready for it. It may not make the anxiety go away totally, but it can help the child to better manage her fear and feelings.
2. Teach coping techniques
Learning to cope with anxiety attack can help children in a social setting. Parents can help by teaching or guiding children with the following :
i. Relaxation techniques
Deep breathing is among the best method to calm a child with social anxiety. Get the child to take a deep breath in while counting from 1 to 4 and breathe out with the same count to 4. Repeat the deep and slow breathing as necessary.
ii. Cognitive reframing
Children with social anxiety have negative perception or image on the setting they are in or will get into. Changing these perception or image in their minds will help them to cope with the panic attack. Get the child to think of a positive thought and replace her negative ones with it. For example, if the child has a fear for meeting new people, get the child to picture herself being safely accompanied by her parents and comfortable.
iii. Problem solving
Children with social anxiety tend to avoid being in a public setting or taking on certain tasks. This is perfectly normal as even adults tend to avoid doing what we don’t feel confident of doing. Help the child identify what triggers her fear and work on the way to solve it. For instance, a child who fears public speaking can practice her speech till she gets more comfortable with it.
iv. Social skill
A friend in need is a friend indeed. Having a friend to turn to when anxiety sets in will help a child tremendously. Therefore, it is important for children to learn the skills required for them to interact and feel at ease with their peers. Guide your child with social skills required such as greetings, conversing, listening or just the art of sliding in to a group. Putting aside social anxiety, there are certain social skills children need for them to enjoy better relationship not only with their peers, but with adults around them as well. These skills will benefit children as they enter teenage and adulthood.
3. Do not expect perfection
As much as we want to, do not expect perfection from children, especially children with social anxiety. Expecting perfection from children make them even more stressed out. Focus instead of the progress that they made. Children will be more comfortable and at ease knowing that they will not be reprimanded for the honest mistakes they made or things they can’t control. Tell them that they did a good job and that you are proud of her for making the effort.
4. Connect
Positive parenting stresses a lot on parent-child connection. When we connect with our children, we build the trust and strengthen the parent-child bond between us and our children. Children feel safe when they know there is someone whom they can trust or depend on. It also makes them feel comfortable to open up and talk about issues that are bothering them. Issues or problems can only be solved when there is effective and honest communication.
5. Step in when needed
As much as we want our children to be independent and solve their own issues, there are times when intervention is needed. Children with social anxiety are usually afraid to let others, even parents, know of their insecurity. Besides connection where trust is built where children are comfortable talking about their issues, parents need to know when to step back to let children try and when should they step in to help. Having someone ‘rescued’ them at times of difficulty helps prevent children sink deeper into their anxiety.
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